


fifty messages to you and me

by graec



Series: odysseus and the sea [2]
Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Fanart, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Prompt Fic, Rating May Change, fallout brainrot time, oc/ulysses epic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25999339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graec/pseuds/graec
Summary: Because some words are harder to say than others. The same can be said for messages, and usually, some messengers need to get creative.50 “wordless ways to say I love you” prompts between my courier Rudolph Dorsey Shields and Ulysses, exploring their relationship, in and out of the Divide. Contains post and pre-game/dlc scenarios.
Relationships: Courier/Ulysses (Fallout), Male Courier/Ulysses
Series: odysseus and the sea [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887073
Comments: 13
Kudos: 35





	1. Holding their hand when they're shaking

**Author's Note:**

> hi! ulysses underrated character change my mind :)

Rudolph reaches out to him, hesitantly. Ulysses looks wrecked and raw, both from their clash and from the ensuing battle. The Eyebots float around the man with familiar beeps, trying to poke at him for any wounds. Rudolph still squeezes the piece of shrapnel from the remains of ED-E in his free hand. 

He makes up his mind, quickly, and takes Ulysses’ hand in his. Ulysses jolts at first, and Rudolph recognizes the signs of fight or flight in his body, his broad shoulders going rigid, his hands briefly squeezing into fists. Those piercing eyes - tired, but still burning holes into Rudolph - look to him. Was it guidance he sought? Would he want it? Rudolph was a leader, but this man had seen enough of leading. He hoped he would at least accept Rudolph getting him out of this hellhole. 

“Ulysses,” he says quietly, tentatively tightening his hold, as if handling a full-grown bighorner. Ulysses stares at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to do. He looked so lost in that moment that it hurt.

Rudolph gently tugs on his hand, pulling him towards the exit. The ground still shakes around them and his ears still ring from the explosions, but all Rudolph can focus on is Ulysses and the space in between them.

“We can come back here, if it’s what you want. But for now, we gotta go.” Rudolph laces their fingers together. Ulysses' hands burn hot against his, and he feels his warmth even through his gloves. "Please, won't you come with me?"

“Yes,” Ulysses murmurs, answering quickly, as though he had never thought about any other option. His voice sounded decades older than when Rudolph had first heard him through ED-E. “ _Yes_.”

The hand squeezes back, holds him there as though he were a lifeline. It hurts, but Rudolph feels warm all the way down to his toes as he offers Ulysses a genuine, winning smile. He felt like shit, covered in grime and blood and aching all over, but the prospect of their unlikely victory, of finally leaving, of getting out of here, and getting this strange and broken man to safety made him feel... good. Probably the adrenaline or all those stimpaks, but he felt like he was soaring. 

“Let’s go.” 

Together, two couriers and two Eyebots leave the ruins of the Temple, hand in hand. Rudolph says nothing when he feels the strong but weary hand in his own tremble. Says nothing, when he turns and sees the wetness in Ulysses’ eyes, who looks at Rudolph as though he’s finally found something long lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the prompt list!
> 
> https://50-item-writing-prompts.tumblr.com/post/180600714495/50-wordless-ways-to-say-i-love-you-holding-their


	2. Tucking the Sheets Around Them When They Stir at Night

Ulysses is still on watch when Rudolph stirs, mumbling something under his breath that he can’t catch. He looks down and sees the man undulating lightly under the thin blanket. Then, in the darkness, he watches Rudolph’s bleary eyes open, nearly luminous in the light of the moon. 

“Uly?” He murmurs, one hand moving around blindly in the dark, bumping up against Ulysses’ back. He tenses for a moment, still not used to it; the easy way that Rudolph reaches for him on instinct. It makes something he thought long-dead inside of him stir, something that he squashes down. _Not now_. 

Ulysses twists his body to make it easier to press a slow touch against Rudolph’s shoulder. Rudolph doesn’t seem to register it, still looking at Ulysses with lidded, sleepy eyes. The former courier moves his sitting position so he can face Rudy fully, and he begins adjusting the ratty blanket that covers him. 

"Long day ahead, Rudolph,” Ulysses says, tucking the cloth around his form, his hands lingering on the thin corners of Rudolph’s body. He wore less armor when he slept, making it an easy job, yet one that inspires different thoughts that he can’t entertain now. He already thought about Rudolph enough as it is. 

Rudolph grumbles something nearly incoherent, something that sounds suspiciously like “oh yeah, that’s me,” and he leans into Ulysses’ firm, fleeting touch and closes his eyes, falling into an easier rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art by me :) i draw a ton of stuff on my instagram, @_graec !


	3. Travelling Long Distances Just to See Them

Ulysses was gone again. 

As always, it’s not something that particularly bothers Rudolph. Ulysses had already told him that for him, and for now, the Divide was still home. A man always had to look after his home, after all, tidying things up and whatever else. Still, there’s always a small, hollow feeling in his chest when he wakes up and finds the other side of the bed cold and empty when he reaches over. Certainly, Ulysses wasn’t the leaving-loving type, but a man had his duties. 

Rudolph knows he should leave it at that. He should leave it and wait, because Ulysses would come back like he always did in the past and they could get walking again. They would be together again when he returned, and Rudolph’s soul would rest easy knowing Ulysses was safe and sound right next to him. They could get on the road with each other's backs, neither of them having to worry about any other dangers because together, they were a force to be reckoned with. And Rudolph wasn't done with describing the Iliad to Ulysses just yet, and didn't Ulysses say something about teaching him how to make tourniquets? Also, what about the seeds they had to check on when they went on the return trip? Rudolph couldn't do it without him, well, maybe he could, but without Ulysses, it wouldn't be as fruitful or fun, and what about- _what if_...

Rudolph shuts down the thoughts that start flooding his mind and sits up out of the bed. The air is still cold, and he shivers as he pulls the blankets tight around his shoulders.

He doesn’t doubt the strength or the wits of the man, not one bit. But every time he’s gone, Rudolph can’t help but feel antsy. It was an awful feeling; always wringing his hands and checking his Pip-boy for the time that flies by, always tapping his foot and waiting, waiting, waiting... Since when had he come to rely on Ulysses so much? Rudolph liked to label himself a free-spirit, but more often than not, he felt bound to Ulysses. 

He shoots up out of the ratty mattress they shared the night prior and he’s quick to slip in his clothes. The stealth-suit has a smile in her voice as he pulls her on, adjusting to his tall and lanky frame easily like a second skin. “Are we leaving so soon?”

“Yup, gotta get goin’,” Rudolph mutters, pulling his duster on. The heavy leather felt good, a comforting weight on his body that only serves to remind him more of the man he’s missing. As he gathers up his things, he finds that Ulysses has, once again, erased any and all traces of himself in the little hut. All of his things are gone, the books they had poured over together gone, and when he picks up his anti-material rifle in the corner of the room, Old Glory is gone from where it had been leaning next it. The only reminders of him ever being there with Rudolph was the lingering scent of him in the blanket and the kiss marks on his neck and shoulders. 

Somehow, it makes him a little teary-eyed. “Well, this must be what a loose lover means, huh?” He says to the stealth-suit as he pulls on his pack and straps his weapons to his body. The stealth-suit hums in that robotic, sing-song voice of her’s.

“He’s good at hiding. Do you think he would be even better if he put me on?”

“Oh c’mon now, he ain’t that loose of a lover,” he chuckles. “‘Fraid your still stuck with me, darlin’.”

“Mhm, that’s okay. You’re still my favorite.”

Once all of his belongings are stored away, he walks out the door and into the desert morning. The hut would be relatively safe, since folks didn’t often decide to go near radscorpion territory, but that didn’t mean there weren’t nosy prospectors around who would give it a try. In the distance, Rudolph can see the Yangtze memorial, its silhouette standing bright against the dawning horizon. He wonders if Ulysses stood here, too, looking out into the waking world before he braved the wastes. 

The thought of the man sitting alone is one that still hurts, and he adjusts his pack and pulls on his shades and gets moving down the road. By his count, it would be about four days of travel. Ulysses must’ve left an hour or so ago, which usually wouldn’t be a problem for Rudolph, but the two of them were both well-travelled and no matter what he did, Ulysses would be one step ahead of him with the time. Rudolph had the supplies to last and could catch meals on the way, but natural food and water sources got sparse the closer you got to the Divide. He counts the time and adjusts his rations accordingly as he walks, his Pip-boy tuned into the music station. 

Four days of walking, and he would get to see him again. Four days of worrying he’d have to bear in the meantime. But so long as home was in sight, Rudolph reckoned he’d be okay. 


	4. Making Their Favorite Meal When They're Having a Hard Day

For some reason or another, Rudolph’s favorite meal was tenderized brahmin steak with a pinch of salt, pepper, and spice. 

Certainly, it wasn’t very strange. It was a simple meal and easy to make if one had the supplies and time. Thankfully, Ulysses has both, and he puts down their little skillet on the bonfire and begins cooking. 

But as he makes the meat tender, he can’t help but ponder about it. Rudolph had told him about the delicious food the people of the White Glove Society make, how it was like nothing else in the world. Even back at the Big Empty, Rudolph had access to recipes from before the war, and he had bragged about something they called strawberry shortcakes. 

But all of these fancy, over-the-top meals, and Rudolph’s favorite, out of all of them, was a simple steak. 

He keeps it medium-rare and flips it onto one of their intact cutting boards. He cuts it into slices and takes a bite. Brahmin meat was always considered tough and somewhat sour, but with a little tenderizing and seasoning, it was made soft and delicious. How could a man who had everything enjoy something so easily made?

As if on cue, Ulysses hears the door opening and Rudolph stepping in. It’s easy to tell who it is when ED-E beeps quietly as it trails behind its owner, who says something unintelligible to the bot. He hears the sound of heavy things being dropped, and not a minute later, Rudolph appears in the doorway.

He’s a mess. Dirt and what looks like tar has been smeared over his face. His duster is caked with mud and grime, and his boots are no better. He looks absolutely miserable for a moment, but then his eyes go wide when they fall on the bonfire.

“Oh my god, Ulysses,” Rudolph says, shuffling to his side and leaning all his weight on him as he huddles close. He presses a sudden and unabashedly sloppy kiss against Ulysses’ cheek as he picks a piece of meat off the cutting board and pops it into his mouth, moaning loudly as he chews and swallows.

“Oh my god,” Rudolph says again, his voice nearly cracking for a moment. “You’re the best damn boyfriend I ever did have. This is so good.”

The comment makes Ulysses feel warmer than it should. He wipes his wet cheek as he speaks, “Just brahmin meat. Must be nothing like what you’ve spoken of before.”

Rudolph looks tired, but his lazy smile is still as bright as the day is long. “Well, you made it, didn’t ya? ‘S always good when someone important makes it for you.” He pops another piece into his mouth. He reaches for another and pushes it to Ulysses’ lips, who only tilts his head away. Rudolph shrugs and eats that piece, too.

They sit in silence for a while, until Rudolph speaks.

“Pa used to make me steaks like this. I’ve had a lot, but I guess this one’s still my favorite,” he says, his voice soft. “Whenever I came home from the pens, he’d always be there with a steak ready for me and the family.”

Ulysses says nothing, doesn’t know what to say about the sudden revelation, so he only wraps an arm around Rudolph’s bony shoulders and enjoys the warmth of the low-burning fire and the man beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art by me


	5. Giving Them a Kiss Before Going to Work and They're Still In Bed

Rudolph stares at the boarded-up windows of the ramshackle home they had taken shelter in the night before. Neither of them needed to be on watch duty, since this place came with an actual intact lock on the door, but he finds himself roused awake in the wee hours of morning anyway. 

The light outside is gray-blue, a promise that it would get brighter soon. Rudolph looks over at Ulysses and sees the man sleeping soundly, his features barely illuminated in the darkness. He can just make out the hard lines and contours of his face, all of them softened by sleep. Out here, away from the Divide, Ulysses seemed so much more... relaxed. 

Rudolph wants to kiss him, to touch him, to do a lot of things at that moment. He was also content with not doing anything at all, to just watch Ulysses, but he couldn’t waste time. Sighing inwardly, he slips away from Ulysses’ heavy arms and out of the warmth of their bedrolls, getting to work with dressing up for the day. 

He pulls a ratty white tee over his head and slips into a pair of loose trousers that had to be kept up by a belt. He straps his magnum to his thigh and tucks a switchblade into his boot. He packs up a small sack full of food and water for lunch later, and when he finally stands ready, he turns and sees Ulysses watching him. 

Rudolph gives him a wide grin, coming over and getting on his knees to be level with him. Ulysses’ eyes are all soft and sappy when he leans down and presses a sweet kiss against his lips, neither of them minding the morning breath. 

“Be back soon?” Ulysses murmurs when they pull away. Rudolph chuckles and presses their foreheads together. 

“To you? Always. Hold down the fort, sweetums.”


	6. Tucking Your Head Into Their Neck During a Hug

Rudolph drops his ranger helmet and collapses against Ulysses, who was ready to hold him close in a tight, crushing hug. All around them, the Legion fires were burning away to nothing but ash. The Legate lay dead on the ground, his mask still dripping in the cracks they had left; most of it from Ulysses’ swift and brutal assault with Old Glory, and Rudolph with the final bullet right in the bastard’s head. 

Both of them were covered in blood, but neither cared. Rudolph heaves a shaky inhale that sounds like a sob in his own ears and he tucks his face into Ulysses’ neck. Beneath the grime and sweat and blood, there was still the smell of Ulysses there, and it soothes his frayed nerves. 

“It’s over,” Rudolph murmurs, his shoulders slumping with the weight being taken off of them. He feels Ulysses’ chin brush against the top of his head. In actuality, he knew it was far from over. There were still loose ends to tie and cut, still Legionnaires to kill, still slaves to free. So much work to do, so much until he can finally go home. But for a moment, he wants to savor the victory he feels now. 

But Ulysses was someone who wouldn’t stop until the work was done. His hand rubs circles up and down his back, a gesture of comfort. “Not yet,” the man says, his voice coming out as a growl, and then there’s an explosion ringing from the front of the camp. Rudolph groans as he pulls away and sees the flash of red-lensed goggles and the golden insignia of a two-headed bear. 

“Gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” Rudolph says, and never before has he been so annoyed to see NCR in that moment. He begins to move, but stops when he feels a tug on his arm. 

He looks and sees Ulysses slip their hands together, interlacing their fingers and giving him a squeeze that comforts him more than it should. When Rudolph looks into his eyes, there’s a softness there that seems to make his aches and pains go away. 

Suddenly invigorated, Rudolph gives Ulysses a nod and, hand-in-hand, the two of them make their way to the front of the camp where the general and his rangers would be waiting.


	7. Lightly Kissing On Top of a Fresh Bruise

“Mwah!” And Rudolph plants a big, wet kiss on Ulysses’ arm. 

Ulysses stares at him, surprised yet unimpressed. 

He only turns Ulysses’ heavy arm over and kisses the other dark bruise closer to his elbow. Again, another “Mwah!”

“What are you doing?” Ulysses says. 

Rudolph rolls his eyes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, swaying a little. He was clearly drunk. “I’m kissing it better, sweetcheeks." _Smack!_ Another wet kiss against his forearm. Ulysses reaches behind him for the forgotten bottle of medical ointment.

“Feel better yet?” Rudolph asks, his words a little slurred. 

“No,” Ulysses deadpans. 

“That’s cause you ain’t feelin’ the heart I’m pouring into this,” he replies, leaning more towards Ulysses with a happy sigh that smells sweet and alcoholic.


	8. Buying Them Something That Reminded You of Them

Ulysses stares at the little array of shiny baubles before him. 

One catches his eye easily, shimmering with a dull glow that no other items seem to have. He points to it and the old, weathered merchant gives a pleased smile. 

“That there’s called a jade, sir. Part o’ a real pretty co-lec-tion of rocks back eastward. Thirty caps for ’er. She been real alone, lookin’ for nice hands to fall into.”

He counts out the caps and pushes them forward. The old merchant gives him a smile with little teeth and plenty mirth as he drops the stone in Ulysses’ waiting hand. It’s warm where it had been shining in the sun, and Ulysses tucks it into an inner pocket of his duster, where he kept small things safe. 

He walks back to their meeting spot, weaving in between the groups of townsfolk and caravans to a quieter grove of dead trees that lie in the shadow of a dilapidated building. He sits against a rock and waits, thinking about the ways he’ll carve the jade that feels heavier than it should in his pocket. A bow drill could work, and so could a length of wire, the both of them being able to work it into the shape he wants...

He doesn’t have to wait long to see Rudolph walking towards him, carrying a few wrapped, red candies in one hand and a small sack slung over his shoulder in the other. He tips his hat up and gives Ulysses a winning smile that’s tinged pink with the gummy cactus fruit. 

“Ulysses, you gotta try these!” Rudolph says, siding up with him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Ulysses takes one and bites into it, finding the texture strange but the taste pleasant. He has to tongue around his teeth to get bits of it out. 

Later that night, they camp up not too far away from the town. Rudolph had fallen fast asleep after putting away all the goods they had collected today. Ulysses takes first watch, and, in the relative safety of the night, he pulls the jade out of his pocket and begins to work. 

It takes a few weeks, carving it down enough. He’s not sure why it’s something he hides from Rudolph, but he does, and when it finally sits finished in his hand as a little green bead, he waits a few days later when they hole up in a secure place where neither of them had to keep watch; ED-E did the job just fine. He tugs Rudolph down onto their shared mattress. 

“What is it, Ulysses?” Rudolph says, crowding his half-naked body next to his, seeking his warmth in the cold night. Ulysses opens his palm and shows it to him. Rudolph looks at it with wide, awestruck eyes. 

“Oh, wow... that’s real nice. Is that a gem of some kind? How’d you get your hands on somethin’ like that?”

“Trade center, weeks ago. A man selling things much like it. Had the toys as well.” Ulysses pinches the jade in between his forefinger and thumb, holding it up to the light. The dull shine was something he’s been staring at for weeks, but it’s still as beautiful as the day he had gotten it. He looks over at Rudolph. 

“Made it, with you in mind.”

Rudolph gapes at him. “Me?”

“Yes. Twisted Hairs used things like this, adding more meaning to stories if needed,” Ulysses explains. He thinks about his own stories woven into him, and the few rings and beads that already rest in his hair. Stories in those, too. Dead things from a lifetime ago, things only he could read now. 

Without another word, he sits up against the wall and begins to weave the jade bead into his hair, closing his eyes as his fingers find a pattern that he alone knows. He thinks of Rudolph as he ties strand over strand, thinks of his kind, open face and his gap-toothed grin that stretches as long as a sunset and feels just as warm as one. Thinks of their history, a tight and long lock close to the new one. Thinks of Rudolph’s scars, namely the two to his skull, retelling a time of regret and longing, a story too important to forget. Ties in the strands that he had made for Rudolph long ago, the ones that define a companion, a _lover_. Slides home the jade bead that tells of the light of Rudolph's eyes, the color of overflowing life, energy, and spirit that Ulysses was sure had been lost to him ever since Dry Wells. 

The lock woven, he finishes and looks down at Rudolph, whose eyes are wide and wet, but his smile is as radiant as the sun. While he wouldn’t truly understand the meaning of it until Ulysses finally told him, he knows the importance of it, and that’s more than enough. 

“Can’t believe you compared me to somethin’ so pretty,” Rudolph says, joking, but the tone in his voice betrays something deeper and loving. Ulysses quirks a smile in spite of himself and drapes his body over Rudolph’s, kissing him.


	9. Participating In Their Hobby Even If It Doesn't Interest You

“Like this, see? The deathclaws always have this weird little hump on their backs. Must be all those muscles or somethin’. Lookit.”

Rudolph draws it out for him, all while slipping the binoculars back into Ulysses’ hands. Holding in a sigh, Ulysses indulges and takes them, bringing them back up to his face. 

He centers on the gathering of deathclaws far from where they were, who Rudolph had, for some reason, insisted they sit down and draw. His eyes trace the hump that Rudolph was talking about, a little hard to see above the rest of the rippling muscles of the beast. But it was there, and he tries to keep it memorized as he sets down the binoculars and goes back to drawing dutifully. 

Eventually, the two of them compare. Ulysses never drew, never found a reason to, and it shows in the shakiness of his lines. Rudolph was about on par in terms of quality, though his drawing was considerably more detailed. How long had he been doing this? Not that Ulysses cared much. Still, Rudolph’s grin was absolutely beaming as he held out both of their drawings. 

“Look at that! Not bad,” Rudolph says, his voice too genuine to sound teasing, and he produces two more pieces of paper for them to try again. Ulysses supposes he can deal with a few more pointless drawings, and he accepts the paper wordlessly.


End file.
